When a toxic partner isn’t getting their way, they often resort to micromanipulations which confuse and undermine your happiness.

Image for post
Image for post
Image by @dashapats via Twenty20

by: E.B. Johnson

When it comes to our relationships, there are a lot of different elements and moving pieces that can make or break our connections. Communication, or the way in which we relate and open up to one another, is primary among these elements — but it can become both toxic and divisive when used in the wrong ways.

Sometimes, our relationships don’t go the way we want and we find ourselves looking for any means to gain control of them. For some partners that’s where micromanipulations come into play, as well as poor behavior that alienates and drives their loved ones into a wall of resentment. Manipulation (in any form) is never the right way to reconnect. Is your partner seeking sympathy over solutions? …


When we fall into a new relationship, we like to think it’s forever. Not every relationship is meant to work, though. Sometimes we choose the wrong people and have to figure out how to get back to joy.

Are you struggling to connect? Running into endless conflict and disagreements in values, morals, or needs? All of these are signs of potential misalignment, but that can’t be corrected until you’re honest. Look at the bigger picture. Is staying together making you worse as partners and as people? It may be time to admit that they’re not the right person for you.


Are you struggling to connect or dealing with extreme conflict? These could be early warning signs of an emotionally unhealthy relationship.

Image for post
Image for post
Image by @jjespinosa via Twenty20

by: E.B. Johnson

Although we love our partners with both an intensity and a tenderness, it does not always mean that our relationships with them aren’t fraught or dysfunctional. Are you and your partner struggling to connect? Do you fight all the time or otherwise struggle to get along in word or in deed? When things get tough, our emotional connection can get damaged. Repairing it comes down to our willingness to open up and find better ways.

There are numerous signs that your relationship may be unhealthy or struggling emotionally. From blame games to an inability to open up — the sooner we admit that something is wrong, the sooner we can reunite ourselves and focus on a plan that’s rooted in action. Do you want the constant fighting and emotional draining to end? …


Welcome to The Growth Digest — the place to take your personal journey on an even deeper dive.

Image for post
Image for post
Image by @epphotography via Twenty20

Welcome to The Growth Digest — bringing you the best stories from LV Development, as well as freebies, announcements, and reader questions. Get the best of your favorite Medium publication, plus so much more.

What happened this week at LV Development

These are the most popular stories on the publication this week. Figure out how to safeguard your wellbeing and build better relationships, and a life that is authentically your own.

Their Micromanipulations Are Ruining Your Happiness

Image for post
Image for post

When a toxic partner isn’t getting their way, they often resort to micromanipulations which confuse and undermine your happiness.

Continue reading.

You’ve Fallen in Love With the Wrong Person

Image for post
Image for post

Love isn’t always a straight and narrow road. …


“There’s a difference between really loving someone and loving the idea of [them]. “

- Gillian Flynn (Gone Girl)

So many of our relationships fail because we insist on seeing them as we want to see them, rather than seeing them for what they truly are. Stop trying to make your partner (and your partnership) into what you expect them to be and take a deep dive into reality.

That is where you will discover what you truly need out of the people you love, and what you want from life and love in general.


Still waiting for the right person to come into your life? These are the dating rules that may be holding you back.

Image for post
Image for post
Image by @criene via Twenty20

by: E.B. Johnson

The journey to find “the one” is an exciting venture for those who choose to undergo it. We move through life connecting with an array of people, all in an attempt to pinpoint what we want from life and the relationships that fill space in that life. We go through ups and downs, failures and success. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. Ultimately, it comes down to our realization of self and the way in which we choose to bond with others.

Are you still struggling with the dating scene? Do you keep falling for the same toxic partner? Or find yourself stuck in the same toxic cycles? Your dating beliefs could be to blame. When we allow outdated perspectives to affect the way in which we go about establishing a partnership, it can take a serious toll on the quality of our bonds. Being happy together requires a certain knowledge of one another, but also a certain knowledge of self. Until you know who you are and what you want, it’s impossible to build something long-lasting. …


Some memories come hard and fast, and when they do they can’t be contained.

Image for post
Image for post
Image by @karlienv1 via Twenty20

by: E.B. Johnson

(Note: This is a short story inspired by the 250-word Microfiction Challenge presented by NYCMidnight)

Mira sat by the water’s edge with her legs folded to her chest. The afternoon sun was high and its reflection rippled across the lake’s silver surface.

Lake Catton had been the place Mira and her father had always come on the weekends when the air was warm and the garage was slow. Benny Tole had been a junior mechanic at the small shop, and he snuck away whenever he could to be with the daughter he loved so much.

All of that had changed after his death, though. …


Every relationship is different, and it is these differences that can either make our connection stronger, or destroy it entirely. Ignoring your differences is no way to build a life together. We have to have the courage to confront these divides and accept them for what they are.

Differences are crucial to address across the different planes of our relationships. We have to ask ourselves, do we want the same things out of our family lives? What about our careers, or the things we want for our retirement? Successful relationships aren’t those in which we sweep everything under the rug and pretend to be happy. They are the ones in which we bravely embrace our differences and find the middle way to travel side-by-side.


Are you trying to build a loving and long lasting relationship? These are the essential ingredients you need to focus on cultivating.

Image for post
Image for post
Image by @alinabuzunova via Twenty20

by: E.B. Johnson

While a romantic relationship isn’t on everyone’s bucket list, it forms a major part of the happiness puzzle for many of us. Humans are social creatures and, alongside that need to socialize, we often find ourselves with a craving for deep and unflinching connection. This longing is traditionally filled by an intimate partner, but the building a fulfilling relationship with them is hardly ever as easy as it seems.

There are a lot of moving pieces that go into building an intimate connection with someone else. We have to want them and trust them, but we also have to accept them and empathize with them too. It takes a lot of time and a lot of commitment to create a relationship that each partner can rely on for support and understanding. All of us can learn how to build these types of partnerships, though, by cultivating the right frame of mind and perspective about the lives we share together. …


Thinking of leaving your relationship, but struggling to take the first step? These are some of the reasons behind your inability to choose.

Image for post
Image for post
Image by @Elisall via Twenty20

by: E.B. Johnson

When our relationships face hardship, we can find ourselves faced with the decision of staying to work things out, or walking away to start over somewhere new. The choice isn’t an easy one, but it becomes necessary when we find ourselves fighting and miserable with someone we no longer recognize. Do you want to put in the work it’s going to take to fix things? Or do you want to find happiness elsewhere? The answer is one that doesn’t always come easy.

There are a number of factors that go into informing our decision to stay in a relationship or leave it. From societal and cultural factors, to our own personal hangups and warped views on connection — we have to weigh these factors carefully in order to make a decision that is authentically aligned to our needs. What future are you trying to build? What kind of relationship gives you fulfillment? …

About

E.B. Johnson, NLP-MP

Certified Life Coach | NLP-MP | Entrepreneur | I write about relationships, psychology, and the growth mindset. Founder @ Dragr LLC. 📱: about.me/EBJohnson

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store