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Why I Detonated (Nearly) Every Relationship In My Life
Sometimes, flying solo is better than fitting in with the flock.
Most of my friends don’t even realize we aren’t friends anymore. It’s true. Back home, people tell one another that they know me. That we’re besties. It’s all a lie, though. Very few people can boast the title of “friend” with me. Why? Because a few years ago, I consciously detonated (almost) all of my closest friendships, relationships, and connections.
It doesn’t seem rational. There’s no way a healthy and stable person would do that. How could they cut off all the people they loved so much? Take a story like that to the wrong therapist and you will get yourself slapped with a BPD diagnosis.
Here’s the thing, though: I gave all those relationships the kiss of death consciously. I don’t (and have never) walked away from something I thought was good for me. The opposite, however, is also true.
I always walk away from things that are bad for me. I’ve been doing it since I was 18, out of my abusive childhood home, and possessed with the realization that I didn’t have to entertain anyone I didn’t want to entertain anymore.
Essentially, that’s what it all came down to 2017, when I consciously, intentionally, mindfully began detonating the…
