When You Learn to “Lean In” You Learn How to Be a Better Person

Embracing the parts of yourself you hide is the secret to finding your truest self.

E.B. Johnson | NLPMP | Editor
6 min readMar 20, 2024


I hardly recognize the life I was living before I learned how to lean in. It was so stale, so miserable, so unfulfilling. More often than not, I felt like I was stumbling in the dark, through relationships that didn’t make me feel good and opportunities that took me further and further away from the person I wanted to be.

The reality is that I was living on autopilot before I learned how to question myself and my motivations. I ran from my feelings and repeated the behaviors I had seen in those around me. I was a hurricane of toxic cycles. When bad things happened, I pushed everything down to the bottom and prayed it would go away.

For me, things didn’t turn around until I learned how to lean into the things that I avoided the most. That included my anger, my history, my relationships with friends, family, and even the partners I paired off with in my life.

The truth is that this is the same for everyone.

Until we learn how to “lean in” and question the things that make us “us”, we keep going through the same motions; outrunning the same devils. It’s a self-defeating cycle. Do you want a better life? That happy-ever-after? Then you have to face yourself in ways that you never thought possible before.

What does it mean to lean in?

The concept of leaning in is odd in a world that promotes avoidance. Many of us have received the message loud and clear. Avoid those big, scary emotions. Avoid hard conversations, conflict, and social taboos. The problem with avoidance, however, is that it leads to more of the same discomfort that already exists. When you lean in, you open your mind instead of closing your eyes to reality.

When someone learns to “lean in” they learn how to face the things they would normally run away from. This is an invaluable toolset for those who have been traumatized, or who have a habit of fawning and people-pleasing when they are confronted with conflict and upset.

What does that mean?



E.B. Johnson | NLPMP | Editor

NLPMP Coach | Writer & Content Creator | Sharing my knowedge with the world ⭐️ https://linktr.ee/ebjohnson01