They Taught You to Be Miserable. You Don’t Have to Stay That Way.

Recondition yourself to embrace life with a refreshed perspective.

E.B. Johnson | NLPMP | Editor
13 min readFeb 7, 2024


Photo by Todd Diemer on Unsplash

What are your origin stories? Who are the people who raised you? How did they teach you to see the world? For a lot of us, life started out rough. We learned to expect the worst from people who created the worst for themselves.

You may have learned to be miserable, but you don’t have to stay that way.

Your misery is a reflection of all of them. All of the people who failed you. All of the people who were strong enough or brave enough to change their perspectives. Holding on to that misery, that dirty lens through which they taught you to see shadows, is to hold on to their losses and failures.

You can choose something different. Happiness. Hope. Optimism. You can choose to be at peace and you can choose to see a world that embraces you, instead of a world with haunts waiting behind every corner.

Do you have that courage? To look beyond the curtain at the truths that wait beyond? Once you acknowledge how you learned to be miserable, you can take a stand. You can learn how to be happy and how to seek out more happiness in the world around you (grim though it may seem).

How you learned to be miserable.

The people with the worst outlooks on life aren’t usually born that way. They learn their pessimism over time. They’re conditioned to expect the worst both from their own experiences and the people around them.

The connection we share with our loved ones, especially parents, from the day we are born, has a defining hand in how we see ourselves, how we feel about ourselves, and the confidence we feel in the world.

Take a step back and look at the patterns. Have you been surrounded by people who expect the worst? Who chase things that don’t belong to them? Who fail to fulfill themselves mentally, physically, or emotionally? Be careful. People like this can teach you to share in their misery.

Always expecting the worst

Did you grow up in a household that was traumatizing and chaotic? This kind of environment can teach us…



E.B. Johnson | NLPMP | Editor

NLPMP Coach | Writer & Content Creator | Sharing my knowedge with the world ⭐️