Q. I have been separated for almost a year from my soon to be ex husband and divorce process is ongoing. Met a guy I really like six months in and we hit it off, were intimate twice but he is in a different country now. Should I sustain this relationship or kill it off till my divorce finalized?

A. This is a really challenging question to answer, and one I can only advise you on like I would advise my best friend.

While you’ve been separated from your husband, still being involved in a divorce is a complex and emotional process. It’s hard to be fully present with someone — or even to know what you fully want — when there’s still so much of you planted in your current-past affairs.

Now, add on the complexity of a long-distance relationship…

What I would advise is thinking carefully about what you want right now in this moment. Don’t worry about serious plans for the future. You can’t make those until your divorce is finalized, anyway.

What do you need right now? What is going to allow you to relax, heal, and start moving forward on a path that is entirely your own?

Don’t lose yourself in the turmoil of everything that’s going on. Stop and really take some time to consider what is going to make you the happiest, most fulfilled version of yourself. If you want this new relationship (and it won’t complicate your divorce situation) go for it. If you think it’s going to make things tricky — stay away and keep it friendly until the time is right.

There’s really no right or wrong answer. Just make sure you’re using this time to make a decision that’s entirely your own.

Best of luck!

Author | NLP-MP | I write about relationships, psychology, and growth. Founder @ The Dragr App. My new book — Relationship Renovator — is available now.

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