Q. How do I get over a breakup? He made me feel unwanted, now I am feeling unworthy and unwanted. I am thinking of this for 24 hours. (via Quora)

A. Breakups are always emotional and not easy to overcome. We all process this grief differently, and we all see and want different things from the journey. There are a few core things we can do, though, to help ourselves heal and find peace (as well as preventing us from falling into the same heartbreak in future).

First and foremost, you need to rebuild your self-esteem. You mention feeling “unworthy”. No one should have the power to make us feel this way. You are worthy just as you are, simply for existing. When you build your self-confidence, you come to believe that. Learn to fall in love with your physical body, and then learn to fall in love with who you are on the inside. The more important you are to yourself, the more important you become to others.

Next, focus on distracting yourself. Lean into your friend groups. Pick up new hobbies. Reach out and socialize with new people where you can. Each time you feel the grief coming on, stand up and do something that distracts you. Seek to do something productive that involves your body.

Author | NLP-MP | I write about relationships, psychology, and growth. Founder @ The Dragr App. My new book — Relationship Renovator — is available now.

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