Q. How do I confront a bossy overbearing mum who gets all up in my personal space? I am 29 but she keeps treating me like I am 5. I have no job but my sister wants to help me build up a freelance writing portfolio. One of my older sisters recently seized my laptop claiming that I do not need it despite seeing me upload some gameplay videos on YouTube.

A. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot at home, and a couple of problems on a couple of different fronts.

Let’s start with your mum. While that’s a delicate situation to handle, it’s one that has to be dealt with. You’ve got to set boundaries with your mother, while also figuring out where her boundaries lie. Sit down and have a frank conversations as adults. Ask her what her ideal version of your relationship is, then explain your version. Work to meet in the middle by prioritizing your needs and finding ways to respect one another’s limitations.

As to your sister who is seizing your laptop, that’s something that may be better handled with the help of an authority figure like your mom. Once you’ve both sat down and gotten yourself on at least a page of mutual respect, approach her again and ask for her advice and her help. This will allow her to be in the role of “mom” while also giving you a shared incentive to work toward.

Beyond that, it’s going to be very crucial that you find a way to build your own environment and your own space. Get help from your other sister and start making a plan to get out on your own (even with other roommates, once possible). Like it or not, you’ll have to make concessions for people like your mum — because you live within their environment.

If you want total control over your own time and your own space, you have to create that for yourself where and however you can.

Best of luck to you! And remember: no family is perfect, but we can still find things to be grateful for if we look hard enough.

Author | NLP-MP | I write about relationships, psychology, and growth. Founder @ The Dragr App. My new book — Relationship Renovator — is available now.

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