Q. My partner just mocks me or laughs at me or mocks my phrases saying things like ‘oh is that from one hour books huh!’ if I try and tell him it’s abuse and it needs to stop. He left for about a month eventually because I fell for someone else & he found out (by asking me). I was so sorry and begged for forgiveness. But now he is back. But how to know if he has changed? it seems not at all! Please help.

A. It sounds like you’re really having a hard time with someone you love, which is never an easy challenge to navigate.

Before you do anything else, you need to spend some time with yourself. Look inward — on your own — and be honest about what you want from your life and your relationships. Don’t even think about your partner at this point. Once you know what you want, you need to spend some time building up your self-esteem so you have the power to stand up for yourself and the things you want.

It does not sound like your partner respects you or the things you try to talk to him about. With communication, your partnership can’t improve. I would be very cautious and make it clear to him what you want from your relationship. If he will not agree to give you those things, and no compromise can be made — you need to consider pursuing someone with more respect for your needs.

Never beg someone to be with you. Love yourself enough to only make room for people who genuinely want to be in your life.

Best of luck.

Author | NLP-MP | I write about relationships, psychology, and growth. Founder @ The Dragr App. My new book — Relationship Renovator — is available now.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store