by: E.B. Johnson
There are a lot of qualities we can find attractive about our partners, but ambition seems to be a particularly sexy quality that many of us find ourselves drawn to.
Ambition is one of those ultimate traits that’s alluring whether we find it in a male or female partner. It’s a combination of passion, determination, desire and drive; it’s not just an eagerness, it’s a hunger to succeed that goes far beyond traditional goal setting.
Someone who is ambitious is someone who actively engages with their dreams and someone who consistently achieves the things they set out to do. What could be more attractive than a person that never settles for less than what they want? Not a lot.
But why do we find this trait so attractive? Why is it that ambitious people seem to have so many more passionate, successful relationships? Well, the answer is a mixed bag. Just like ambition itself.
The two types of ambition.
Ambition is the drive that propels us forward toward success in whatever we choose to apply it to. When we desire to achieve something, that is our ambition at work, pressing us to focus and push on no matter what obstacles we have to overcome.
Our personal and professional dreams all rely on a certain level of ambition, and it is this same ambition that help us overcome the rough patches. There are different types of ambition, however, and both are not created equal.
Ambition and blind ambition are the two sides to the ambition sword. Ambition as we know it is a collection of intent and focused will, but blind ambition is the sabotaging version of this drive; a need to succeed regardless of right and wrong.
A blindly ambitious person, turns an unseeing eye to things like deceit and shady dealings. Someone who is fueled by their blind ambition is the opposite of attractive, and is often someone we see as aggressive, pushy or hard-to-be-around. These types of people lose their moral code, and their sense of self, in their all-consuming need to have, have, have. Rather than draw people toward them, they push people away.
Blind ambition can be our worst enemy, but learning how to harness our ambition for good can be transformative. Those who know how to tap into that ambition and harness it for good are the ones that are oh-so-impossible to resist. You know the ones…
The common traits of ambitious people.
The kind of people with that irresistible ambition are the ones that live life to the fullest, while maintaining their sense of self, their intention and their will to succeed. It’s not all about getting the job done. It’s more about refusing to quit.
Consider some of the sexiest people you’ve known in your lifetime. Did they seem like people that would give up a good fight? Hardly. There’s a few common traits that all truly ambitious people have and, though they can very from person to person, they center around 7 basic themes: goal setting, motivation to achieve, self-esteem, solid attitude toward others, a professional attitude, self-regulation and cognitive awareness.
Ambitious people are those with goals that they demand to achieve. They enjoy getting recognition from others and they know that — in order to do that — they have to succeed. Whether it comes to their social or professional lives, ambitious people have goals and they conquer them. This quality makes them great leaders and draws people to them, thus one of the reasons they can become such an attractive candidate in the eyes of those around them.
Motivation to achieve.
Consider again the most ambitious person that you know. Were they someone with a strong desire for self-actualization? Chances are, they were.
Ambitious people like to succeed, and they like to do it on their own terms. They strive to achieve more than their parents did and are often competitive when it comes to even the simplest of tasks. They embrace self-development with open arms, because they knows it gives them an edge. Rather than daydream of winning, they aspire to win.
Self-esteem and attitude control.
Those who are driven by their ambition are those with positive self-esteem and self-image. They know that they can succeed because they are as good or better than those they are competing against. They don’t fear tasks because they aren’t sensitive to criticism and they aren’t afraid to fail (after all, it’s just learning a better way to go after the same goal a second time).
Ambitious people are those that can redirect their failures and defeats into positive energies and talents, a skill that can seem magical to those watching from the outside. Rather than becoming discouraged, an ambitious person seems to only become more driven by their failures. They can turn their self-talk around and get things done with others would falter.
Maybe that is magic.
A solid attitude toward others.
While those who are ambitious can seem dominant, they have an positive attitude when it comes to people overall. Just because these people are consumed with the desire to do well doesn’t mean they lack kindheartedness; quite the contrary.
Ambitious people are still kind and have an ability to recognize those at different levels in the struggle. They know that the going is not always easy and they know how to lift up those around them who are also striving for something — no matter how big or small that thing may be. Ambitious people stick up for themselves and others because they realize it sometimes takes a village to achieve the things we want.
A professional ability or persona.
Ambitious people have been shown to have a higher willingness to move to another city or country in order to advance their careers or further their standing in whatever it is they desire.
They like to be in charge and they like to get things done, traits which make them good leaders. Ambitious people will happily sacrifice one thing for something better and they make no apologies about their willingness to work.
Those ambitious people are those who find that, even though they are fearful, they can still triumph. This is because they are courageous, or able to face their fears head on; using them as weapons that aid them in overcoming obstacles, rather than additional hurdles that keep them from getting what they want.
They have a certain level of emotional stability that comes from knowing themselves and that can be attractive to those of us who are struggling emotionally. They are willing to take risks, because they know they have the tools to overcome whatever happens next.
Cognitive awareness and ability.
Have you ever watched someone you think of as “ambitious” approach a task? More often than not, they take the time to think out their approach and they do so creatively and critically; considering all the possible outcomes and consequences.
Ambitious people are flexible in their attitude and their thinking, and can adjust their approach whenever needed. There is a certain level of open-mindedness that helps them excel when it comes to achieving their goals, and they are interested in solving complex problems.
They’re also aware of their skills and their emotional intelligence and know how to use it to connect with those around them. Ambitious people are smart in ways that goes far beyond books or street-smarts or anything else. Their knowledge exists on a primal level, and that makes them tasty to those of us who love the heat of desire.
Why is ambition so sexy to so many of us?
Well, the short answer is that it’s a combination of the above. The long answer? It’s complicated.
Ambitious people are attractive because they’re good leaders and they’re dominant when it comes to their approach, but it’s more than that too. They are also people that support their loved ones while pushing them to be and do more.
When we have an ambitious partner at our side, we feel inspired to be as good as they are (if not better) and that can make us feel good on the inside. Ambitious relationships can be mutually beneficial and push both people to challenge themselves in ways they never imagined before.
Watching someone set goals and consistently achieve them can push you to set goals too. People with passions and energies that extend beyond the usual are alluring, and they make us alluring by association, drawing us into their world of incredible personal power in way that is captivating and hard to escape.
Those who set high standards inspire us to do the same, and it is when we expect great things from ourselves that we excel into the stars. It’s sexy to get what you want, but it’s also sexy to help others get what they want.
Ambition is a heady brew but success even more so. When you find someone that has an inclination to achieve all of their goals and dreams in life, it’s a game changer for everyone involved.
The two sides to ambition.
Some of you will, of course, disagree with this assessment of ambition being an attractive quality altogether. And that’s understandable given how the world has become synonymous with the dirty images of swindlers and sharks who will stop at nothing to get what they want — consequences be damned.
Ambitious has pro’s and con’s just like any other trait or any other attractive feature we can imagine. While an ambitious person can be someone that inspires us to do more, they can also be someone that hurts us in unexpected to way.
It’s always better to be cautious when it comes to be drawn to those who are ambitious. They can be world conquerers, but they can also be childish, callous or negative when they fall between those moments of getting what they want.
They can force us to see ourselves in incredible new lights, but they can also wound those they love when they find themselves out of control or out of touch with the things that keep them passionate and driven.
Putting it all together…
Ambitious is a sexy quality and when you consider the types of traits a confident, driven person exhibits it’s not hard to see why.
People with a determination to succeed are go-getter’s who set their goals and let nothing stop them from conquering them. They make charismatic leaders and that draws people to them, making them shine even brighter in their triumphs. They regulate their emotions and have a belief in their inherent abilities. They’re inspiring; they’re alluring. Ambitious people captivate us with their inability to take “no” for an answer.
Ambition can be a double-edged sword, though, and every passion has a price. While success is a tempting bedfellow, it’s best to treat it with a cautious eye and an understanding that everything can change in an instant — no matter who you are.